Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The story that just had to be told

OK here we go, about 5 years ago I worked at a gym in New Bedford. One of my favorite co-workers who was also a local boxer told us that he saw a disgusting site in the locker room bathroom. He told us that he swears that he saw one of our fellow employees masturbating on the bathroom floor. We were all like " OK Ray Ray sure". I mean would you believe that someone would take time out of there shift and please themselves in a place where children may see? It was a family gym with a daycare in it, so children use the bathrooms with their parents all the time. So about 3 weeks pass and another fellow employee comes out and went right to the manager and said "you need to call the police. We need to have this crazy fucker escorted out of here." So basically the sick fuck was sitting on the floor of the stall on top of paper towels that he laid down. He was sitting spread eagle and jerking away in his own world. Absolutely inappropriate for work. Take a lunch Break, take a cell phone break, take a gosh darn cigarette break but by no means should you take a masturbation on the bathroom fucking floor break...what the fuck!!!??? So the sick little weirdo was escorted out for all to see by the police. He is a local message therapist so be careful people. Here is a picture of what I imagined this situation looked like.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

A dinner poem

3 skank ass broads took their kids out
one yacks her hot dog and starts to pout
the bitch comes running up my way with an angry face
and yells-- my daughter ate your dang hot dog and puked all over the place
Now I need it cleaned up and I want my check
thank fucking god this isn't my table what a train wreck

for the bitch just stood there and tapped her foot on the floor
as her waiter scrubbed up the puke from the spawn of the nasty whore
they got free meals and coupons too
a four fucking dollar tip will definitely do.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Pussy Cat

When ever someone posts a picture of their lovely little cat on Facebook, is it bad that I want to say " that's a nice pussy"?

A few of Mj's lovers

              I was bored and doing a little bit of googling the other day when I came across some silly pictures of Michael Jackson in his glory. I thought I would share some of these pictures with you guys. Now years after Michael's passing I am learning about his love life. He is one crazy mother fucker. He had a wide variety of lovers from all walks of life. He could probably have his choice of clam, I mean he did date Brooke Sheilds who is he has it in him. These are pics of his secret lovers.

ET loved Michael soft touch, and his moon walk

He always had a thing for little people, at least these ones are of age lol

His smallest love. Where is Macaulay today?
Back when I was 8 years old and watching the movie Home Alone I thought little Keving Mcalister was a cutie! He has change quite a bit over the years!


Such a a cute little fucker!

Quite a lovely dress there mac

Damn homie

Here is a picture taken a few weeks ago....poor bastard :( hopefully he gets help!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wal-mart Encounters...

So I went to Wally World today. It is truly a great place to people watch. I also got everything I needed on my list! There really wasn't too much going on there today but I did hear a funny conversation between two women. One loud women kept saying " I was dead S, I was dead S." I was thinking what the fuck does "dead S" mean? Then it hit me--dead serious-- OK, who says that? Should I start saying that? Nah. On my way Out I saw a women wearing white stretchy pants, and trust me she shouldn't have

So this just has to happen folks.....

The White Stretchy Pants Diaries 2012---w.s.p.d

View of Crotch in the front and dimples in the back..very sexaayy

I'm speechless..

Tan pants are just as bad people...if not worse!!!!  Who is her boss and why did he/she let her wear those to work???

Please Note-- when showing off your Badonk-adonk don't wear white! Thanks :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Quack Quack

Ok, so whats up with the duck faces everywhere?! Ever since the Olsen twins started making their "prune" face about 10 years ago it's been out of control. I think now its natural for some girls to automatically make a duck face when a camera is present. It's time to start smiling rather than sticking out your lips and looking like a fool ladies. On second thought it looks like you are taking a painful shit.

Here is my attempt at a prune/ducky face:

Not to shabby


The inspirational two that started the prune face. They used to quietly say the word prune during photo shoots to get the best duck face results.

Just act natural girls...hehe

Here are a few fucking train wrecks... :)

Atleast she has nice eyes!

her lips look like a Vagina! Prune Vag

Is she shitting or farting...hmm

B-D-F Botox duck face B-D-F

They say the sexiest curve on a womens body is her smile.. soooo more duck lips girlies <3
 Ok I'm out..time to go practice my duck faces in the mirror with cell phone in hand..oh boy thats a whole other blog ! ;)

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Did you touch my Pepe' ?

"Nothing like the touch of a warm Pepe' Under Jacuzzi watahs"..LK

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Haters in action sitting on their fupas!

Why are there so many haters out there? Here is a small example that I noticed today. Pauly D from Jersey shore is getting his own show on March 29th 2012. Well I clicked on the link because I am excited to see the new show. Then I noticed there were 3 comments. All 3 comments were negative!! Granted they do party hardy on this show but, these people took the time out of their life to click on a link about a show they don't like. Then they couldn't stop there---they had to bash the person on the show. I don't care for Harry Potter movies but I don't go on Harry Potter's website and talk shit. They probably were googling all these things from there stinky office chair that is supporting there huge ass fupa. Ha aha here is a picture of my screen, so you can see the haters in action. I had to comment of course! Lol

Follow me, I post new blogs everyday! <3 LK

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Teach me how to Dougie

Here is a video from last year. Our future brother inlaw was secretly filming us..then we noticed during the dance ahah..MahFucka.  My fabulous little sister tried to teach me how to Dougie.  I still don't know how to Dougie! Note my sisters bomb ass mother fucking moves though.

Follow me, I post new blogs everyday! <3 LK

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Best quotes from my night..

"It's our 56th wedding anniversary, and tonight I am going to give him SEX!" (This couple was awesome and so very sweet)

"I have been waiting forever!! I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna go somewheres else if you don't get me a table NOW!!" (Of course they got free appetizers for waiting.)---It's saturday are going to wait where ever you go! I know you haven't had a chance to spend your government check till tonight but fucking relax!

--12:30 am 3 of us girls leaving together--  While smoking a butt one girl says "Goodnight girls, I'll watch you walk to your cars" so we both turn around and says "and whos going to watch you?"
"Oh it's ok, I have a mase, a pocket knife and my long nails. Besides if some guys gonna come over here and rape me..who's to say I'm not gonna rape him first?!"   I just love that girl!

Rule of thumb for those eating out on a budget: If you ask your server how much an alcohlic beverage costs...your server automatically knows you can't afford to tip...

Follow me, I post new blogs everyday! <3 LK

Friday, February 3, 2012

Home from Hell

                 I'm very thankful for my lovely girls at work who help me get through these horrendous customer experiences!  OK, awful night at work tonight. Party of  10 women! 8 of them being teenage girls and 2 of them being dried up 50 somethings. Apparently their shit doesn't stink. They ended up running me ragged and wanted their god damn check split into 10 separate checks!! Where do you fucking think you are ladies--McDonald's??? Then one of the ugly, dried up older ladies didn't even pay her check of 17 dollars! Whatever, obviously all you girls will be going home to your vibrators tonight...and every night. Did it ever dawn on you, that the reason you are all single is because guys think you are frigid bitches??  Why do some women have to be so bitchy? What gives them the right to be rude to others?  They can buy all their expensive name brands and get their hair and nails done---BUT one thing is certain-- you can't buy class! You also can't buy personality bitches! 
A barrel of monkeys

Goodnight y'all

Follow me, I post new blogs everyday! <3 LK

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Jersday Surprise

Here are some pictures of my family and I dressing up.
Snooki, The Situation and DJ Pauly D


Follow me, I post new blogs everyday! <3 LK

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Short and curlies

Pubic hair.

Hair does what it wants. If it wants to grown in a certain spot it will forever (unless you seek Lazar hair removal) Some human beings have more hair than others. There are many people with thick, shiney and silky beautiful hair-----and there are others that are fucked in the hair department.  Some women like a lot of hair on men, others ---like myself don't like it when it gets stuck in our teeth.

Here are some examples of hair that sprouted up in all the wrong areas and or crevises...

You'll be " like a virgin" forever if you don't trim those hedges sweety.



And....In all the right places

Ok while I was finishing up here I heard a commercial say this and I quote
 "get longer, stonger more frequent errections" Really?

Well everyone, that was the Hairy truth!  Oh wait how did I forget Mrs. Fire Bush herself...

Thank you to my darlings Kaitlyn and Michael for the idea about hairy aereolas at work yesterday!

Follow me, I post new blogs everyday! <3 LK

This just in...